What makes a Happy Marriage?

Celebrating our ten year anniversary, participating in a friend's wedding last night, having a friend from high school get married last week, and congratulating another friend on his engagement today has my mind swirling with thoughts of weddings, marriage, happiness, and how we make it all work in the craziness and excitement that is life.

According to U.S. Census data, about 70% of people (a little higher for women, a little less for men) were ever married and 20% of people have been divorced. Without dealing with too many statistics or having to figure out what these percentages even mean to the average person, it is obvious that not all marriages last. I can't help but wonder how many marriages that don't end in divorce are happy and fulfilling for the couples? How do we make it work for ourselves? What makes a happy marriage?

There are any number of factors that can effect how spouses interact with each other and the satisfaction and happiness each receives. Finances, children, jobs, income, location, and other responsibilities can all effect a marriage. When I think carefully, though...happiness in my own marriage is overwhelmingly dependent on how my husband and I treat each other. The things that make my marriage work are unconditional love, kindness, humor, respect, honestly, forgiveness as needed, and holding each other to high (but realistic) expectations. These are all things that we can give each other free and endlessly, without regard to others, not affecting financial situations or other commitments. Paul and I choose- daily- to work together to create a marriage that we are both happy in. We make decisions together, considering what is important to us immediately as well as long-term. For any two people who are married (or together, however that works for their situation- regardless of age, sex, race, or religion), there are endless possibilities of what will make each couple happy. Undoubtedly, love is the greatest factor for us.

Truly loving someone and choosing to spend the rest of your lives making each other happy in a fulfilling marriage is one of our own ultimate goals in life. Being loved, and loving, gives us purpose and happiness in our ever changing world.

Congratulations Susan and Brian!

Congratulations Wendy and Brandon!

Congratulations Nick and Rebecca!

We wish you many years of wonderful marriages and hope you enjoy the process of exploring what makes each of you happy as much as Paul and I have. Good luck and lots of love!